hope.
upon retrieving my prelim results from the hands of our respective teachers, a deep sense of guilt and disapointment splashed on me as failure sometimes jus don come at the right time. 43 out of 100. yup thats how close it was to secure that pass, but numbers jus ruined everything. no point pin-pointing fingers now as normal people would always do. no more blaming of teachers. no more blaming of our ever-so-hopeless school.
but one thing i was very certain of would be that our school sure didnt cover wat we ought to be taught, yea n thats true judging from the questions that our teachers actually set when they have not taught them. wat is the meaning of that now? and all tis while from being a 6-year old kindergarten kid till now, 12 years of intense education, i have seen the responsibility each teacher has and that is to teach. thats basic. not only that, teaching encompasses constant encouragement and motivation to strive for success, but have that one particular teacher done even a tingling of each aspect? no.
of course, much of the blame should be attributed to myself. for not working hard enough. for playing too much and tinking that time would never run out. for believing that last-minute scrappy work could achieve results. yes and that was all that i've been doing the past year or so. its horrible that feeling now. the feeling u get when u fail our papers and the disappointment in disappointing your close ones. its ironic yes but so what? are we doing it for ourselves or for others? i agree with ms tan totally that sometimes we shld do things for others as well. good results is all i aim for and it is not only for myself, but for the people around me. i wanna do well and at the same time hope that my friends are able to do so as well. it would be perfect. yes.
sadded. but motivated as well. gotta work doubly hard tis time round jus to achieve my goals. though its against my own will and at times i am jus forcing myself, but do we have a choice? nope =)
